Our time with baby is ending.
My limitations crept up on me slowly and definitively.
Thanks to the divorce I went through, I can feel when my self starts to unravel. I started to fray so I prayed like crazy for more strength, more grace to carry on but God did not give me those things. Instead I have become more and more depleted, less and less human.
Therefore, I made a decision to send baby on solely because I am overwhelmed.
And I am left wondering why. Why now? Why with such a big responsibility? Why can't I have what I need to do this? Why, when I know saying no, is hurting so many people and putting baby at risk? Why am I limited here...in this? Why didn't I grow the wings I needed to fly?
