When faced with a major life change fear rears its head and attacks. Fear needs to be recognized for what it is. It is a mechanism to warn me about something new coming down the line. Something unfamiliar and something with potential to alter my current state. Fear is a warning, no more, no less. My mistake has been to let fear grab hold of my heart, mind and body and render me useless. This happened a lot until I met courage.
Courage was given to me when I started reading certain Psalms in my bible religiously everyday. Psalm 27, Psalm 30, Psalm 31, Psalm 51 and Psalm 91. I learned that courage is following through even though I am afraid. I learned that fear is OK, but making decisions based on fear is not. I even incorporated that concept into teaching my daughters about fear. "You can be afraid, but you still have to do it."
I am not an expert at recognizing fear and operating out of courage. Most recently, I went for a couple of weeks in a downward spiral that seemed hopeless until finally I saw fear in what I was journaling, saying and even in how I was acting. Because of the divorce, I am faced with many loose ends that when finally wrapped up could result in losing even more than I already have. But I don't want to choose to live in the realm of negative possibility. I'd rather enjoy today, take courage that those loose ends are not going to bring more loss and pain, and let God handle those unknowns. Amen.
