I learned there are two kinds of lies.
Lies of commission.
Lies of omission.
You know the lies of commission...they are the broken promises..."I will take you on a business trip one day." (from an absent parent) ..."I will let you play with your friend tomorrow." (from another parent trying to wrestle their kid home). "I will take out the trash" (OK, that was a little unfair, but true, right???...did you ever take out the trash more than once, or was it your spouse who covered your rear)? And, of course, "I will stay with you forever." You know that one is from the spouse or parent who left.
Lies of omission are trickier. They start with a person lying to themselves. Then lying to the other party in the relationship. Then they seep straight into the soul of that relationship. Lies of omission make the other party doubt themselves, and make the liar indignant, sometimes mean, confusing the recipient of the lie...making them think they have done something wrong. And lies of omission take forever to figure out.
A lie of omission is one that says "it never happened if I don't admit it." It also says "how dare they accuse me of lying." Sorting these lies out take a lifetime, instills fear into the liar and leaves a trusting person raw.
Fortunately, it is not on me to figure this out. I have tools. A sensitive soul, discerning spirit, whatever you want to call it, helps me figure out the truth has been wrinkled. But is never up to me to accuse, condemn or punish. God takes care of that. He truly does. Even if it's "only" with His kindness and grace.
If I allow myself to see Him pour kindness and grace on any kind of lie, what's left is my responsibility. What am I going to do in the midst of this?
I cannot ever blame any of my own actions on another person's moves, honest or not.
