A short follow-up to my last post.
Just in case you are there. You don't feel love for your spouse, you don't feel like you get anything out of your marriage, you don't feel at peace in your marriage, you don't feel like you can take one more second of your spouse's behaviours.....notice a theme....feel...
Take your feelings out of the equation and start doing what you know is right. Not what you feel is right or what you want to do.
Start seeking God's face from the floor and praying like your very life depends on it. Pray that He will give you grace and mercy and fill in all the gaps left open by your spouse's shortcomings.
Start treating your spouse as if they are a gift from heaven (they are, you know).
Start acting as if you are happy.
Start serving others even though you are tired and have no energy.
Find out how your spouse wants to be treated, how they want to receive love from you, what they want to do, how they want to do things and I promise...with all my heart...that you will not be walked on, taken advantage of...or abused*....you will be honored, respected and loved. By God first, then slowly by your spouse again.
You have all the tools you need to make it right from your side. So use them. Pray, talk to others who have been there (old married people are crazy and wonderful sources of advice), get therapy, take care of yourself, take care of your kids, surround yourself with friends who want to see your marriage succeed and do not join in negative talk about your spouse (or their spouse)...stop obsessing over your negative feelings. Your negative feelings will betray you, lead you down a dark path of self destruction and become the devil's playground.
And remember you are not alone. Marriage is horrible and wonderful at the same time. It is binding and freeing at the same time. No one navigates it perfectly.
May God's grace and mercy be all over you now and always. Amen.
*if you do suspect you are being abused in any way shape or form....seek professional help. I was not abused and have no experience with abuse.
