How did I become a better person?
After my husband left, I diminished. I withdrew from life for a few days. Didn't even care for my kids, who were so very young. Re-entering life, I just barely took care of my children. Couldn't take care of my home, or of myself. I lost many pounds. Survival mode took over and I started eating, started exercising again. But that was just to get by.
I didn't become a better person until I started examining me. Admitting my faults and looking them in the face, demanding they not define my life. For example, anger. For so many years I had been known as an angry person. The anger in me led to coming across as a pessimist. As a contrary person. And those definitions just made me more angry, pessimistic and contrary.
What I know now is that my anger is a defense mechanism. When I get angry, I can ask myself "where do I feel threatened?" or "what makes me feel small or boxed in?". I can use that anger to define areas where I need to grow, need to examine, or just plain situations I need to abandon. In this way anger becomes a tool, rather than a defining element. And that process fits who I am more than anything. A positive person whose challenges are meant to be resolved, not to define who I am.
