What's Christmas season like for a freshly minted divorcee?
For my daughters and I, this season has ticked on very similar to last year. Tree is in place, Christmas music plays, lights are hung. I edited decor to what I could reach, so our tree is 5 foot, lights twinkle around the doorway only. At night after work we bundle up and drive around looking at lights in our neighborhood. Sometimes we walk. We have easy fun.
In my time alone I have learned to define what it means to take care of myself. I invite people over. I call them on the phone. I e-mail. I write. I look outside my door and see who is standing around and I invite myself into a chat. See, I am a true extrovert. I get my energy from being around people. So the months holed up in my home, taking care of myself by getting massages, running alone, reading books, learning to be by myself were actually killing me slowly. I had read I had to learn to be by myself, enjoy myself and love myself. But for me, I am at my best with others. I already enjoy and love myself. I am by myself enough...when I write, read or sleep! So for me, I had to learn the hard way that more time by myself was destructive and quite awful. I am thriving more than ever now that I let go of the self time and invite people in, or invite myself in.
Last week I opened my home. Sidenote...I am no decadent hostess. I clean the bathroom and kitchen and call it good. I buy drinks and cheese and invite desserts or whatever anyone wants to bring. I make it easy on me, and hopefully fun for my guests. I had a small circle of friends over on Monday for champagne and chat. I had a different small circle of friends over on Wednesday for gnosh and chat. Thursday I met up with a dear friend for a cheese plate and chat. And it is thanks to that dear friend that I learned that having these little groups of friends over, is actually how I take care of myself. It's not the nails, the massage, the weekend getaways, the vacations....it's the time and chat with friends. I am so glad I finally know that, because now I can focus my time and effort on what is really good for me. Merry Christmas to me.
