My daughter fought herself tooth and nail tonight. She didn't want to talk to Daddy on the phone. Then, as soon as I handed the phone to her sister, she started screaming. Now she does want to talk to Daddy. Get the phone to her, she's silent. Hand the phone off, she is screaming again, begging for Daddy. Poor sugar muffin. Daddy blames it on exhaustion. I blame it on our situation. What 4 year old can reconcile that Daddy loves them, but chooses to only see them part-time? It's something too big for her to process, and it comes out in confusion, conflicting messages and raw tantrums.
When I see this happening, it hurts my heart. But I am still grateful. I am grateful that my daughter has an outlet. That she can yell and scream about the seeming injustice of it all. I am glad she is letting go in screams and frustration, and so glad that she isn't trying to be "extra good" so she doesn't make waves. Because as an emotional person myself, I don't understand consistently reserved, well-behaved people. I do understand this mess of emotions my daughter displays, and I can nuture her and love her in the midst of it. I can hold her tight and tell her what I truly believe: We are going to be OK. It's hard now, but we will be OK.
