If I had an answer, many marriages would be saved.
I do not know exactly why my marriage went awry.
I do not know what we did wrong.
I do know what we did right:
1. We were friends before marriage
2. We were both successful in our careers
3. this should be number 1, we were both devout Christians
4. We both had our own hobbies, and our own friends
5. We traveled (one of our hobbies) the world together
6. We enjoyed each other immensely
7. After our children were born, we had weekly date nights
8. After our children were born, we parented similarly, I can't remember fighting over parenting, we actually discussed our decisions
9. As for me, I read my diary from back then, and I was grateful for my friend, my lover and my confidante...my husband.
All I can say is this: last summer, my husband told me he did not want to try to be married anymore, he was tired of working on our marriage. When someone stops trying, the marriage dies. That's all. Nothing big. Just a lack of effort.
I'm so sorry I cannot relate an absolute. Hindsight is 20/20, but when I look back, I wouldn't have either of us do anything different, except stop trying.
